The Great Fight
Once upon a time, long long ago, their was a fight that would change the world. This fight was between two sisters that happened to be twins. Long before this fight began the two sisters grew up as the best of friends. These sisters did everything together and both were princesses to their parents who were the king and queen of a magnificent city. Many people had always wondered who would take the throne when the time came but this was never a thought of the young girls, until one day....
The king and queen came to their daughters the day they turned 18 and told them that in order for one of them to take the throne they must first complete some tasks. They said that whoever was to complete the tasks the quickest and with the most success would gain the throne. The sisters agreed, and the tasks ensued.
For weeks there were archery tournaments, hunting tournaments, agility tests, and tasks that tested their ability to think rationally and quickly. Weeks went on and on and no matter what the girls kept coming to a tie. But through this process the sisters who had once been so close began to despise the other and wanted to do whatever they could to beat the other. Deliberation had begun because there needed to be a solution for the ties. The sisters came together and agreed upon a fight, they both must create an army and the fight was to happen one week from the day they agreed upon. The week passed quickly...
On one side was the army of Julia and on the other side was the army of Jessica, both seemed pretty equal upon first look.
The fight began and people were dying all over and all the sudden Julia noticed her sister was not out fighting like she had agreed. All of the sudden Jessica appeared out of no where with a sword, but not just any sword, this sword once had belonged to the War God. This sword could go through the whole army and kill them all in one fellow swoop, and that is exactly what Jessica did. Jessica won the fight and spared her sister, but since they have not spoken and Jessica is now queen. The War God has not gotten involved in any fights since.
Author's Note: I used the Mahabharata as my inspiration for this story. In their fight it was between cousins but in my case it is between sisters. The fight between family was my main point in this story. The fight was bloody and in the end it ended up with big consequences.
Bibliography: Mahabharata By: Donald A. Mackenzie
Hi Paige! I like how you changed it for cousins to sisters fighting one another because I feel like that makes it that much more brutal. Sisters are supposed to be best friends and the fact that these two were basically forced to fight each other for their kingdom sucks. I like that Jessica spared Julia at the end because she could have easily killed her.
ReplyDeleteHi Paige! This was an effective tale, especially in cautioning the reader against the pitfalls of fighting against family. It's a shame that the sisters' relationship was so utterly devastated over this course of events- if only they had been able to rule together:( I appreciated the gender-swap, and the decision to change from cousins to siblings made it more personal. I'm curious about why the war-god chose to endorse Jessica over Julia, and I'm so glad Jessica spared Julia's life. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Page,
ReplyDeleteThis was a wonderful story. I am glad that I was able to read it. Fighting against family is always a difficult topic and you did a great job in presenting it. The fact that sisters are fighting is always devastating and I am sure that too many people, unfortunately, can relate to this in some ways. Great job!
-Andy
Hey Paige,
ReplyDeleteYour story was a great read and having family fighting made it different. It is something I had not read in anyones story yet so good job at keeping it unique. I agree with Andrew, siblings fighting is very common but also not so good. It was good to read in your story. Keep up the good work. I really enjoy reading your stories because they are so different.
Hi Paige, I enjoyed your story. I thought you did a good job of developing the relationship between the two sisters. What crappy parents though, ey? Do Jessica and Julia ever make up one day? I believe in them! They can make it work! Maybe they just need to go to therapy together to work things out. The sequence with the girls doing different tasks was fun to read too. I hope your semester is going well and good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Paige!
ReplyDeleteYou story was really great and I liked how you changed it from the original story. I thought it was clever of you to change the fight between two sisters. I can't imagine how tough it would be to compete with my own sister. Overall, I thought you did a really great job on your story and keep it up!
Hey Paige, I really like the concept you have here for your story. One thing you could do to improve your story is add a portion explaining how the one princess obtained the sword. It would be cool to a have a scene where she sneaks away and makes some kind of deal with the War God. You could even have her work in her sister into the deal and potentially have them become reunited. All kinds of possibilities.
ReplyDelete